Rugged Opinions

Kickstarter Disaster: Breathing Reinvented

by Unacomn on August 4, 2015

You know you’ve run into this same problem again and again, and again. You’re out strolling through the parks, minding your own business, gazing upon the beauty of nature, and then BAM! You died because you forgot how to breathe. Well that stops now, thanks to a new device on Kickstarter called “Remember to breathe”.

Now, to be fair, this isn’t as ludicrous as the water bottle from last time, the one funded for enough money to end hunger in some places on Earth. This device only needs 80 bucks to get funded. The point of it is to remind you to breathe from the diaphragm, deeply. In and out, in order to improve health. You can do it too. In and out, from the diaphragm. Deeply. In and out. In and out. In and, are you feeling dizzy? In and… can’t see straight, out… Ithinkineedtoliedown…as;dasmdasmd.

Zzzzzz

Aah. Well, I haven’t had that much fun breathing since Ubisoft made Hyperventilation: The Game.

And now, for something completely different.

You don’t often get the chance to be at the ground level of a revolution. Just imagine it. You could one day tell your grandchildren that you, yes, you, were there when it happened. You were one of the first. You were the one that made it happen! You reinvented photography. That’s what this bold Kickstarter is aiming to achieve, for only 72 thousand dollars.

And now you may be asking yourself, just how is this reinventing the act of taking photographs? Well, think about it. Think about the other revolutions that brought us here, to this point in time. Colour cameras, instant photography, affordable cameras, digital cameras, phone cameras, DSLRs, and that’s just the beginning. A first step, nothing compared to what this Kickstarter has planned, all for just 72 thousand dollars. I hate to keep you waiting, but to make this more interesting, I’m going to let you guess. Is it:

a) Affordable DLSR cameras?
b) 3D Printable cameras?
c) Affordable 3D cameras?
d) Digital cameras that can print pictures?
e) 3D snapshot cameras like they had in that one episode of Captain Planet with the space zoo?
f) A web-site?

If you’ve guessed „affordable 3D cameras”, then oh boy are you going to be disappointed. So, for 72 thousand dollars, double what my home is worth, you can help the initiator of this Kickstarter to build a web-site for amateur photographers, where they can post pictures and talk… about things. It may seem crazy, but this is a moneymaker guaranteed. Hundreds of thousands of people around the world will access it, probably on day one. Now, if you think this is silly, then you have no concept of macro-economic pentagenal diformic theory, you should educate yourself. I am so impressed by this amazing idea, which will revolutionize photography, that I am now announcing my Kickstarter.

Next week, I will be launching a campaign to fund Sealsword.com, a website dedicated to posting drawings of cartoon seals with swords, some even wearing hats. I’m only asking for 100 thousand dollars, but I guarantee that it will get at least one million users in the first week.

comments
Leave a reply

Leave a Response

This website uses Google technologies such as AdSense and Analytics to improve the quality and presentation of our content. Read more about the information collected here. We will also clearly and explicitly present directly relevant affiliate links in as un-intrussive a manner as we can. Affiliations bear no influence upon the quality of our content.