Top 5

Top 5 most annoying Steam users on the planet

by Jack Napier on August 4, 2015

Today,  we’ve decided to put together a top of the most annoying Steam users. For better or worse, there are some kinds of users you simply can’t get rid of on Valve’s popular platform, so we decided to out them, and poke a little fun at them. All in good humor that is! So without further ado, we present to you…

Our top 5 most annoying Steam users

So we all use Steam! It’s a word that is part of the vocabulary of every modern gamer, whether or not he hates the service or not, Valve’s digital distribution service is dominating the market, with the largest market share of all competing companies, and undeniable levels of popularity. And this popularity also brings a certain kind of users to the table, users with their own customs and habits, and some with more ‘special needs’. But we love to hate them, these annoying Steam users have been using the platform since the very beginning, so, they are here to stay. That doesn’t mean that we, the other gamers can’t make fun of them. So we’ll start off, in no particular order, with…

The Otaku

An otaku in full Otaku mode

image courtesy of BoredPixel

The Otaku – a.k.a. The Terror of JRPGs is the kind of player who has the strangest games in the list! From indies you’ve never heard of, to date sims and other strange entertainment of Japanese origin.

When asked about the games, he/she will often claim to have played “game X for the narrative” or “game Y for the trading cards”, trying to maintain the image of the tough guy angry at life (or the hopeless romantic looking for heart-touching stories), and not the stereotypical one of the basement-dweller sitting for hours staring cross-eyed into a monitor.

Otaku are useful friends to keep in your list, as they’ll occasionally recommend to you some really good games, or at least the occasional fun oddity you shouldn’t be touching (but will anyway). But, they will pester you with trivia and links, making Otakus a class of annoying users on Steam.

Next up, we have…

Little Timmy

One piece young begging teen

image courtesy of BoredPixel

Little Timmy a.k.a “Please sir may I have a penny?”  – not necessarily a child in 100% of cases, but generally you’ll find this one in some shape or other up to age 16. It’s the player who wants to add lots of new friends, asks you about your doings every day, keeps track of everything in your inventory and starts asking the strangest questions just as you enter a game.

Questions such as: “What are you doing,” “Can I play with you,” “What cool stuff you have in your inventory! Can I have X thing?”

These users are harmless, even lovable, only they tend to start asking questions in the most inappropriate moments, like when you enter a DOTA 2 match or you just want to relax, forget about the world and crack some heads in the next video game extravaganza.

But hey, it could be worse.

The Innocent

A not-so-innocent looking Steam User

image courtesy of BoredPixel (… looks innocent, right?)

The Innocent a.k.a. Wasn’t me – is another Steam frequenter, standing out through his ability to always have an excuse ready for anything.

Did he get VAC Banned? His brother, cousin or other family-member played and used cheats.

Trade Ban? “Ah, well, I quarreled with a Russian and he reported me.”

Did he get his community privileges suspended? “Um, well, I logged into the forum to recover some items that got stolen from another account, but the thief gifted the items back to me and didn’t tell me they were stolen so I was suspended for six months! Not my fault bro.”

These are the users you need to be keeping off your friends list. They’re usually scammers or charlatans, just waiting for an opportunity to fool you!

The Businessman

One totally not shifty-looking dude

image courtesy of BoredPixel (When there’s business to be had, Businessman comes out ahead)

The Businessman a.k.a. Looking to trade in his sleep – is one of the most annoying Steam users. You can find them all the time on TF2Outpost, in Steam Trades, in the CS:GO Lounge, or any other place where a man can do some honest trading, usually to his benefit. I was part of this caste before the Steam Marketplace went up and running, and from time to time, I’ll venture back to TF2Outpost to sell a TF2 hat, but not like the old days.

It’s good to have a businessman around the house – or friends list – because you can learn a lot from them, but when doing a deal with one remember one thing: Bargain!

The Achievement Hunter

The Achievement Hunter in its natural habitat

image courtesy of BoredPixel

The Achievement Hunter a.k.a Red vs Blue – Oddly enough, I speak here from experience, seeing as I have a few people in my list who developed a mania out of unlocking all the Achievements a game has to offer. They are adorable in their own way, so long as you don’t disturb them while they play. If you do that, either they won’t respond – in 99% of cases – or they’ll tar and feather you so bad God’s honest light wouldn’t be able to shine on you.

Achievement Hunters are also often elitists, who spend days uncovering every secret in a game, grinding that last Achievement and who develop a passion about writing step by step, highly detailed game guides that they post on Steam. They are the ones who always have something to say in a game review’s comments section, most often choosing to vocalize their bitter disappointment. They’re nice to have around, since they give you a good excuse to pop a cool beer while they talk, and they’re always willing to educate you.

Those were our top 5 annoying Steam users, but there’s another type of user who elicits just enough jealousy to warrant us making this a Top 5+1. Look out below!

The Magnate

The Magnate, or the user with the most toys

image courtesy of BoredPixel

The Magnate a.k.a. That one guy that has it all – this user is the kind that has over 1,000 games on Steam, an astronomical user level, a ton of items in stock and is usually inaccessible because he won’t discuss with mere mortals under level 100 on Steam. You always see them playing a new title, whenever you check on their profile they’ve jumped another level or three, and will often be called PalmDesert.

For the Steam community, the PalmDesert name is already a legend in his own right, this user having the highest level on Steam (717 at the writing of this article) and also an impressive collection of items. What’s interesting is that he isn’t the only one, with Steam proving to be a haven for magnates of all kinds, from games collectors to items collectors to Steam Level collectors. You’ll often have him on the list for no reason, since he or she does not spend time with mere mortals. Unless you’re friends IRL, at least.

So these are the most annoying Steam users in our humble opinion. If you know any others, let us know in the comment section below. We also want to praise our lord and cupcake aficionado Bored Pixel for the art, that encapsulates perfectly the essence of this article.

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